“Jesus!”
As she laid on her mattress, Rae shut her eyes & bated her breath as he stood at the door. He had threatened to kill her a few minutes before & she was prepared for the worst.
But he turned around, went back to his room & fell asleep. In a few seconds, snores were heard, indicating he was in deep sleep.
That was after a grueling few hours of ‘torture’.
It wasn’t the first time they had a fight. Each time he would threaten to kill her only to be met with her retort.
If you dare to lay hands on me, you’d better make sure I don’t walk out alive.
Each time it worked.
She didn’t know for how long she could pull at that thread. This night, it broke.
I really feel like killing you.
It wasn’t as if she had wanted to carry on living. She had lost all hope after several months of verbal, mental & physical abuse. Night after night, he would come home drunk & give her hell. To top that off, he landed her in debts & he had somehow decided not to lift his finger to do anything about it.
She was prepared for the worst. She wanted to give up.
I really feel like killing you. He was heaving, ready to pounce on her.
But at that moment, she realized that she didn’t want to die like that. She wasn’t afraid to die; Rae has always been a strong girl. Yet, at that very moment, she felt she could not go like that.
It was a miracle that he just turned around & went to sleep.
Lost & not sure what to do, she sat on her mattress & quietly listened to make sure that he has really fallen asleep before breaking into gasps for air. Tears just rolled down uncontrollably while she tried to stifle her sobs.
What do I do? Should I pack my clothes & leave now? But all the clothes are in his room. And if I make any movements, I might rouse him…
These thoughts kept swirling in her head. I have to get my keys.
Hanson had threatened to lock her up before he leaves for work in the morning. He would be travelling for work & expects that she would be there when he arrives home a few days later. Rae retorted that it was illegal for him to do that. At that point, Hanson threw a fit again, knowing that he had once again ‘lost’; that he could not keep her under any forms of control.
They had come to a point where Rae could no longer put up with his nonsense. Marriage was supposed to be a happy affair, a joyful union. Yet it became the root of grief in this one. What happened?
Divorce was on the table. It wasn’t the first time it was broached. But each time, it was met with fighting & begging. Without a properly thought out plan, Rae knew she could not make a move. So she waited with the hope that he would really keep to his promise to quit his drinking habits. But it just got worse.
He had depression due to a failed business & she tried to be supportive by being there emotionally & financially. She may not be the best wife there is but she did as best as she knew how. But all he could think of was how he was so miserable & unsuccessful. Drowning himself with alcohol nightly, he raked up debts on her credit cards & refused to pay as he had promised. Being a bankrupt, he is not to have any credit cards or assets to his name. Using hers was the next best thing.
Travelling for work seemed like a valid reason & she didn’t want to hinder in him picking up his career. Hanson said that once his company reimburses him, he would pay it back. But he never did. Perhaps only one or two small payments but subsequently, all the money he has collected went into drinking again.
Soon, 2 credit cards were maxed out. He still didn’t want to pay. When a fair-weathered friend asked for a loan of a couple of grand, he readily lent it to him but from whose account?
Rae confronted him, persuaded him but all to no avail. By then all the credit cards were maxed. Hanson just wanted to get his way like a spoilt child. He would avoid talking about these matters when he was sober but create a ruckus when he was drunk, insisting to talk about these matters yet when it was brought up, he became violent with her. He would hurl vulgarities at her & call her names, accusing her of adultery. Threats to kill her, banging her head against the wall, threatening her with a cleaver took place within that short period of 6 months.
When he knew that this time, divorce was a resolute decision, he pretended to have drunk some insecticide by staining the tip of the glass with a little from the spray can. Surely anyone could tell it was a cheap trick to earn some sympathy. By then, it was too late. Rae could care no more. When she had put in efforts to care, he hurt her. Is there any reason why he should deserve more?
You could die for all you want. It’s your choice. You can no longer place blame on my head & make me feel guilty. You will not manipulate me anymore.
She knew he could not have drank too much as he had no violent reaction. When he heard some groans from his room, she simply picked up her phone to call the ambulance.
When you call the ambulance for attempted suicide, the police will follow. Hanson hated the police.
[To be continued...]
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